I talked to Steven this morning for about an hour. It was good to hear his voice. He gave me a wonderful start to my morning. I didn't want to hang up. I miss him, it feels as though half my heart has been torn from my chest.
At this very moment, I feel very lonely. I wish I could describe how I feel right now, but there aren't any words that can describe the hurt I feel right now. I want to cry.
I've come to realize, people will always talk about people, whether it's your BEST friend, or someone you've never met, there's no running from it. It will happen.
You've told your deepest darkest secrets to someone you thought you trusted, come to find out they've told someone else that they trusted, and that person in turn, has told someone else that they trusted...Can one really keep a secret?
Friend- Will pretend to agree with something you've said or done, even when they don't.
Best Friend- Will tell you that you've fucked up whether you want to hear it or not.
Doing the right thing is not always easy.
I'm depressed.
About Me
- Julia M.
- Benson, Arizona, United States
- Well, let's see ... I love spending time with my family. I have a wonderful husband, Steven, A beautiful daughter, MariElena, and 2 great dogs named Nikko and Bella.
1 comment:
hey Jules !!! I hope you are feeling better today. I went prancing around on your other beautiful website, and found this...but I got confused on how to respond there (hee..you know me, "bessica"), so I came here, and how did I know you would have put it here too!!!! YAY! I agree with what you said about, if you tell someone something in total confidence and trust, will it stay just with them? I too, have that same wonder sometimes when I say something to certain friends. As a matter of fact, I can honestly say that I trust in 3 people in my life (that are part of "Becca's Twelve" whom I know for a fact I can trust with my life). HOWEVER, I do believe what you said in your blog has a lot of truth to it. How , even though you ask of someone not to please repeat "this" (whatever "this" may be), that they too..have someone that is part of their "so & so's twelve~~~whom they trust to no end, so they might tell that particular person, and then so on and so forth. I know how you feel, cuz sometimes, I feel it too. I guess that some part of me just HAS to be okay with this though. I mean, if the person I am trusting to not say anything to...just can't take it, and they turn to their "highly trusted" person, then I can trust that my info isn't going to get back to where I don't want it getting back to. However...again..in saying anything at all in the first place, would probably be best to be able to stand your ground, should you have to...IF that info turns around to bite you? I mean, that's what I Think. ie. If I say something about "Sally" to my trusted friend, and my trusted friend tells his or her trusted friend...and by some forsaken chance, it gets back to "Sally", and now Sally is pissed with me...then it's fine...cuz I'll be able to stand up to Sally and say, "Yeah, I said that $hit, so what....this is how I feel about it"..and then we can move on. I think now I"m just jibber jabbering..but I did have a point.....I know it's in the body somewhere......lol.....hit me up later!!! luv ya~
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