Thankful

Lately things have been a little on the rough side for me. Emotionally things have just been flowing uncontrollably through me, to where I seem so confused, lonely, and lost.

I'm so lucky to have such good friends. I'm sure they don't even realize how much the littlest things mean to me. Whenever I need someone to talk to they are always there for me. I don't even have to talk about what exactly is bothering me, just talking to someone, and it's like they know exactly what to say or do to make my laugh or smile....These are the things in life that I'm thankful for.

I don't think I would be able to make it through some of the things I'm going through without them.

I just want to say Thank you for being there for me. Just listening...Just having your presence there has been so helpful to me... Thank you. You are my true Friends. We have a friendship that will last a life time. I have truly been blessed.

More Random Pics

Service

The following is a post by Steve Harrigan of the Fox News Channel who is embedded with our Soldiers.

February 6, 200636:31 minutes

A memorial service today for a soldier killed in action. The entire regiment attended. Empty boots and helmet. His friends and officers spoke about him. There is a part of the ceremony that I had not seen before that caught me by surprise and caught Rudden by surprise also. The company commander began to call roll, the first two soldiers responded to their names, then the commander called the name of the fallen soldier. I looked to the boots. There was no response. Now the name was called again, urgently, with the first name included. It hung in the silence. Then it was called a third time, with the middle initial, and a sense of finality, and it hit everyone there.

Random Pictures

me and Rebecca at Demo's

Rebecca, me, and Jenn at "Hustlers of Hollywood"

Me and April in Orlando

Cynthia, Tammy, Linda, Brandi, Nikita, Me, April and Johnny in Front

Pasoon, Jaston, and Jordan with the Mari Gras Dancer

The Fellas

April being silly with the unicycle guy

In Loving Memory

No Greater Love hath no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends

John 15:13

YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN

Spc. Jesse M. Zamora, 22, of Las Cruces, N.M., died in Bayji, Iraq, on Feb. 3, when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV. Zamora was assigned to the Army's 1st Battalion, 187th Infantry, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, Ky.

Just Gibberish

Well Last night went out with the Girls (Jenn, Marquita, Rebecca, Ashley and Casey), and I really had a Great time! We Took a Trip down to Nashville and ate at this restaurant, had a bunch of Laughs! It's Been a long time since I've laughed that Hard, The food was good, the Manager was Great, and the present Company was even Better. ... Then we all Took a Trip down to "Hustler Of Hollywood" And boy did we have a Blast there. You know I was actually very impressed, it's not at all what I expected, very respectable not raunchy. We All Left with a lil' something ... LOL.

Another thing that I guess I wanted to Vent a little About was, Jenn has this friend, and She is basically Cheating on her husband while he is in Iraq. And Even though I don't really know this girl, It Pisses me off so much. Why? I Just don't understand it. If You aren't happy in your marriage and you aren't ready to commit to something that serious, then leave your husband. Don't Live in his house, Drive his truck, and Spend his money, then leave him when he gets home, so not only does he come home to NO wife, he comes home to NO money. He's over there spilling his blood, sweat, and tears ... And he will come back to NOTHING. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I just want to slap some sense into this girl. Anyway, I guess I've vented enough about it.

Steven comes home in about 2 months and I am so excited! I can't believe that it's almost here! I Have so much that I need to prepare for, I better get started! Those are gonna be the best 2 weeks of his life! Ha ha!

I Hope everyone had a Great Weekend!

Surprise!

I got Home today and my Neighbor Came up to me with this box, it was from Steven! I was so excited.... He got me this Hand Carved Jewelry box, the trick was trying to figure out how to open it. Yes, it was one of those trick boxes that I had to cheat to get it open...lol I absolutely Loved it!

The Front

The Back


What Was Inside for Me!

What Was inside For MariElena!

Feeling Blue

Well, Today really felt like Friday the 13th for me. My Day just started off Horribly. I woke up a little later than I planned to, so I was rushing around this morning trying to get everything together. Well I go outside and it's pouring down rain, well once I get Mari in the car and I'm off, I realized that I forgot my umbrella. I drop MariElena off at her godparent house, and then I see that my gas light is on, so then I need to stop and get gas. I get to the gas station and reach for my purse and it's soaking wet?! I'm like what the hell! I guess the top to my water wasn't tightened on right and the entire thing poured out into my purse! I was soooooooo upset by then! I get my gas, and I'm off. I'm finally on the road to work. I pull up to my job walk inside, reach for my badge.... DAMN IT! I left my badge at home. Could anything else go wrong?! Well the past couple of days my wisdom tooth has been hurting, well it decides to flair up while at work, and my entire left side of my mouth SWELLS UP! I leave work, go to the dentist to find out that I have an infection, and I'm gonna have them pulled. So he prescribed me some antibiotics (penicillin) and some Lortab for the pain.

I can honestly say that only one good thing happened, and that was that Steven called me today. It was good to hear his voice. It's like I've said before, it's almost as if he knows. He knows that I need to hear his voice and things will be better ... and he always comes through for me.

Gibberish

Things have been going fairly well so far for the new year. I've been keeping myself busy by going to the gym as much as possible. So Far I've lost a total of 40 lbs. Since July when I started dieting. I'm pretty damn proud myself. LOL. Below is a picture of Me in April of '05. So as you look at the other pictures I've posted in the blog below, there's a little bit of a difference there...

Things have been going well at the job. Got the official Invitation to Orlando today, so I'm excited about that. Now All I need the the Official invitation to NAPA VALLEY BABY! Me and Jenn are gonna have soo much fun! I can't Wait!

Steven has been doing very well, so far this year, I've received 4 letters! I can't thank God enough for bringing him into my life. I can't imagine how life would be without him. Even though he's thousands of miles away, he always finds a way to let me know that he loves me, and that his heart is still with me. *sigh* OK OK Enough Mushiness! *wink*

Rakkasan Shirt

I saw this Shirt at the PX a few months ago, and I finally got a chance to get it.

Perfect way to Show my support for My Soldier!

Pictures from Iraq

A new Pet they aquired in the last week, as you can tell her name is "Money"

The Very Small Living Space... [ I made that Blanket I had to emphasize that :-) ]

And Steven with his NEW rank on...

For my Wife!

Julia & Friends 05 JAN 06

I remember hearing a long time ago that a person can’t be forgiven for past sins unless he confess’ what he has done to god and man alike.

Well im here to confess my love , not just to God , but to all who know my wife and myself. I have been blessed to have found such a wonderful woman. She is all that I can imagine a “Real” woman can be. She stands beside me through tough times, never behind me. She is there, Always. She is understanding. whenever there are troubles in life weighting on my mind she listens to me and brings me comfort as no other person can give another . She is always concerned about my well being.

She balances her family, at no times have I felt neglected. She shows Mari Elena and me enough love to last our lifetime. She is a Great mother. In all the women in the world I choose her to be the mother of my child, no other.

I miss her Smile. It sometimes hurts me to hear her laugh and not be able to see that pretty smile I am so used to seeing. At times I can sit here alone at night and remember how her hair smells after she takes a shower. I miss looking into her eyes and capturing the moment when she tells me she loves me. I can see the truth in her eyes. I miss watching her sleep, but not as much as waking her up so that she can talk to me. I don’t want to lose a moment in time. A moment that I would not be able to tell her how much she means to me.

God hasn’t allowed man to come up with the words that can explain how much I love Julia. She is everything I have every wished for. I wouldn’t change a thing about her for all the riches in the world.

They say that” it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”.
If that holds true, then I have never loved at all until now. I cannot lose her, she means everything to me. She is my life.

I say “people might think that love comes more than once a lifetime, but True love, the love that dreams are made of only comes once “.

I have found my one true love. When my days on earth are over I know that her name will be on my lips with my last breath of life.

There are so many things about you that I love it would take eternity for me to tell you.

Julia Ida Morales, you have taken my name, I confess and give you all my love.

You’re loving Husband, Steven A. Morales

Promotion!

WOOHOO! Steven Got Promoted. He is Now Officially Staff Sergeant Morales as of the 1st of January. I know that he has worked so hard to get where he is at now. From what I hear, not very many people get to this rank in 5 years of service. I'm so proud of him.

New Year's Eve Pictures

Me Before Going out

Casey, Myself, and Jenn

Me Playing with the Camera Waiting for Jenn to get ready! GEESH!

So In Love

Today I talked to Steven, and it was such a relief to hear his voice. I was worried especially after hearing about the 2 guys that died from his unit. They finally got the lines back up, and he called me. One of the soldiers was a friend of his. I can't imagine going through the things that he has to endure while out there. After talking to him, I felt so selfish. I was upset that I hadn't heard from him, and I was only thinking of myself, and not thinking of what he was going through. I wish I had knew.

I think that talking about things kind of soothed his pain a little. I'm so very glad that he feels that he can open up to me and tell me how he feels. That is the one thing that I love about our relationship. We can always tell each other about how we feel one way or another, and we try our hardest to understand each other.

Even though I don't talk to him as much as I'd like, when I do talk to him, he makes every minute that I do talk to him make up for the ones that I don't. There's never a moment where he doesn't let me know that he loves me and my daughter. He sent me an Email and it was filled with so much love and passion, that I couldn't help but cry when I read it.

I know, I know, I'm such a corn ball when it comes to my relationship.

I just wanted to share my happiness!

Bowling!

Mari's First Bowl!

Jenn and I took the kids bowling for New Years Today. They Had so much Fun! This was MariElena's First time going bowling and she was so excited. Even though it was way after her bed time, I could see it through those tired eyes of hers that she really enjoyed herself. She definitely likes being around her new friends, Elijah and Michala.

Random Rambles

I read something from another blog, and it is so very true. That some friendships are like seasons. They teach us, and we learn about other people and ourselves. These frienships last only for a season, but you learn so much from them.

I must say, they I've learned how to be a true friend. I've learned that a true friendship is not available at YOUR convenience, but at all times, through the good times and the bad. I've learned not to keep "friendships" just to avoid confrontation. I've learned not to keep friendships because you may need that favor in the future for someone to babysit or someone to help you do something.

I've seen people call people their friends, but at the same time Dog them out to other people who barely know them, but of course, never to their "friends" face. Holding grudges, throwing the past in people's faces, or Not to their faces, in the cases I've seen. This is not what I call friendship. I don't understand how people can withstand these attributes in the people that they say they hold closest to their heart.

Some things are faults that you accept and overlook. For me, these are some of the things, that I cannot accept in my life. Life is too short to accept things that will only aggrevate you mentally and emotionally.

I've learned that years can go by of not communicating with someone, and because that bond remains there, when reunited, the past is forgotten. You talk and Act like there was never a Gap in years. It's almost as things continued just as you left them. This is a true friendship. To be able to Forgive and Forget, in the literal sense of the phrase.

These are some of the things that I've learned in my season.

Why?!

Why is it that people will lie over the smallest thing. For example....

You went to McDonalds and Bought a Double quarter pounder with Cheese, and You say I went to Mcdonald's and Bought a Happy Meal.....Or...

I paid $5 dollars for this, but in reality you really paid $15 for it.

I just don't understand the reasoning behind lying about something as small as this. Can someone explain to me why people do this?

Christmas Day

Well, MariElena and I opened her gifts last night since she was going to be at her father's this morning. She loved every minute of it. i'm so glad that she's too young to really understand that no other family members were there to celebrate with her. She was so excited about her gifts.

This morning, I awoke and Got MariElena dressed in her Christmas outfit that I bought for her, she looked so adorable. Then I dropped her off at her Grandparents and father's house. Then drove back to an empty house.
I went to waffle house and ate and talked with a friend which was nice. Then it was over and had to go back to the empty house. About 6:00 I went to go and Pick MariElena up, she really enjoyed herself. She received a lot of gifts, so I know she loved every minute of it. And I was gonna take her to go to the movies with a friend, but she's been real congested lately, and by the time I left her Father's house she was PASSED out in the car, so I decided not to go. Maybe tomorrow. We will see... And that has been my christmas so far.... How was yours?

Ramblings

I talked to Steven this morning for about an hour. It was good to hear his voice. He gave me a wonderful start to my morning. I didn't want to hang up. I miss him, it feels as though half my heart has been torn from my chest.

At this very moment, I feel very lonely. I wish I could describe how I feel right now, but there aren't any words that can describe the hurt I feel right now. I want to cry.

I've come to realize, people will always talk about people, whether it's your BEST friend, or someone you've never met, there's no running from it. It will happen.

You've told your deepest darkest secrets to someone you thought you trusted, come to find out they've told someone else that they trusted, and that person in turn, has told someone else that they trusted...Can one really keep a secret?

Friend- Will pretend to agree with something you've said or done, even when they don't.
Best Friend- Will tell you that you've fucked up whether you want to hear it or not.

Doing the right thing is not always easy.

I'm depressed.