Bowling!

Mari's First Bowl!

Jenn and I took the kids bowling for New Years Today. They Had so much Fun! This was MariElena's First time going bowling and she was so excited. Even though it was way after her bed time, I could see it through those tired eyes of hers that she really enjoyed herself. She definitely likes being around her new friends, Elijah and Michala.

Random Rambles

I read something from another blog, and it is so very true. That some friendships are like seasons. They teach us, and we learn about other people and ourselves. These frienships last only for a season, but you learn so much from them.

I must say, they I've learned how to be a true friend. I've learned that a true friendship is not available at YOUR convenience, but at all times, through the good times and the bad. I've learned not to keep "friendships" just to avoid confrontation. I've learned not to keep friendships because you may need that favor in the future for someone to babysit or someone to help you do something.

I've seen people call people their friends, but at the same time Dog them out to other people who barely know them, but of course, never to their "friends" face. Holding grudges, throwing the past in people's faces, or Not to their faces, in the cases I've seen. This is not what I call friendship. I don't understand how people can withstand these attributes in the people that they say they hold closest to their heart.

Some things are faults that you accept and overlook. For me, these are some of the things, that I cannot accept in my life. Life is too short to accept things that will only aggrevate you mentally and emotionally.

I've learned that years can go by of not communicating with someone, and because that bond remains there, when reunited, the past is forgotten. You talk and Act like there was never a Gap in years. It's almost as things continued just as you left them. This is a true friendship. To be able to Forgive and Forget, in the literal sense of the phrase.

These are some of the things that I've learned in my season.

Why?!

Why is it that people will lie over the smallest thing. For example....

You went to McDonalds and Bought a Double quarter pounder with Cheese, and You say I went to Mcdonald's and Bought a Happy Meal.....Or...

I paid $5 dollars for this, but in reality you really paid $15 for it.

I just don't understand the reasoning behind lying about something as small as this. Can someone explain to me why people do this?

Christmas Day

Well, MariElena and I opened her gifts last night since she was going to be at her father's this morning. She loved every minute of it. i'm so glad that she's too young to really understand that no other family members were there to celebrate with her. She was so excited about her gifts.

This morning, I awoke and Got MariElena dressed in her Christmas outfit that I bought for her, she looked so adorable. Then I dropped her off at her Grandparents and father's house. Then drove back to an empty house.
I went to waffle house and ate and talked with a friend which was nice. Then it was over and had to go back to the empty house. About 6:00 I went to go and Pick MariElena up, she really enjoyed herself. She received a lot of gifts, so I know she loved every minute of it. And I was gonna take her to go to the movies with a friend, but she's been real congested lately, and by the time I left her Father's house she was PASSED out in the car, so I decided not to go. Maybe tomorrow. We will see... And that has been my christmas so far.... How was yours?

Ramblings

I talked to Steven this morning for about an hour. It was good to hear his voice. He gave me a wonderful start to my morning. I didn't want to hang up. I miss him, it feels as though half my heart has been torn from my chest.

At this very moment, I feel very lonely. I wish I could describe how I feel right now, but there aren't any words that can describe the hurt I feel right now. I want to cry.

I've come to realize, people will always talk about people, whether it's your BEST friend, or someone you've never met, there's no running from it. It will happen.

You've told your deepest darkest secrets to someone you thought you trusted, come to find out they've told someone else that they trusted, and that person in turn, has told someone else that they trusted...Can one really keep a secret?

Friend- Will pretend to agree with something you've said or done, even when they don't.
Best Friend- Will tell you that you've fucked up whether you want to hear it or not.

Doing the right thing is not always easy.

I'm depressed.

Client of the day!

Me: Thank you for calling SunTrust Bank, my name is Julia may I have your Full name

Client: Yes My name is Mary Ellen...

Me: Thank you Mrs Ellen, how can i help you today?

Client: Yes I'm unable to get online to see my account..

Me: Ok, May I have the last 4 digits of your social security?

Client: Sure, My husband's last 4 is ****...

Me: ok....Now can I have the last 4 of YOUR social?

Client: Oh, I'm sorry I didnt know You wanted mine?

Now....Need I say more about this caller?????? lol

Life

A friend of mine said something that was funny at the moment, but the more I think about it, the more it is so true. She said when you lose a good friend, it feels as if you've broken up with a boyfriend/lover/spouse. How more true can that be? You feel hurt, angry, lost, lonely, and depressed at the same time. You think, " Did I do the right thing?" "Was I wrong?" "Should I Have thought it through more?" You loose sleep at night thinking about it. You Cry. Your heart hurts, and you think of ways to make it better.

Luckily, with my situation we were able to mend our friendship. And once again, it's like making up with that very same boyfriend/lover/spouse. The sigh of relief, not having to wonder if you will be able to talk to that person the next day. The admiration you feel for knowing that you were able to overcome whatever it was that was in your way. The joy of being able to laugh again with that person over some of the dumbest things. I guess the only difference is, you don't get to have that great make up sex that you have with your boyfriend/spouse/lover. Oh well ... You can't have it all.

Of Course as with any relationship that has been bruised, there is still a little of the awkwardness, and there will be a time period of getting to be able to trust each other as you once did, but you're so relieved to know that the friendship made it. And as time goes on, you will both mature, grow to learn more about each other, to accept each other for who they are, and to be prepared, because there will always be an obstacle, but now you know that you will be able to overcome them.

Its Amazing to me, how life works ... At the time that things happen, we hurt and ask why? But in the end, when we look back on situations you realize one thing... That you've learned from it...it has made you a better person.

On the other end of my life, I see the light of a friendship getting brighter and brighter and the days go by. It's like a seed that has been planted and as each day passes, as long as it's watered and receives the sunshine it so desperately needs, the seed will grow and eventually blossom into a beautiful flower, full of color and life.

Bullbog Tribute

This is a little tribute that I made for our guys in Bravo Company

Client of Day

For those of you who don't know, I work for the internet banking department for a bank, Since it's a call center sometimes customer care calls will get routed to us, so we sometimes get to answer regular banking questions so here goes;

Me: Thank you for Calling Suntrust My Name is Julia, May I have your full name please?

Client: Billy Bob ( I don't remember his name)

Me: Thank Mr. Bob, how can I help you?

Client: Yes, I just have a question, How much is the $32.00 non-sufficient fund fee?

Me: Um... I'm sorry sir, I think I misunderstood your question could you repeat that for me?

Client: Yes, how much is the $32.00 non-sufficient fund fee?

Me: Um.. Ok...I believe that would be $32.00

Client: Oh Ok, Thanks

Me: Was there anything else I could help you?

Client: No, that's all thank you.

You can imagine the puzzled look I had on my face during that call...

Reconciliation? Old friendship restored?

Well as you read from my last blog, I ended a friendship with someone whom I had recently begun a friendship with. I've had a few responses on this blog and few from another site that I have, and I got some different opinions on the subject. After a lot of consideration and hearing other people's different views, I think I may have acted in haste in ending the friendship. That maybe I should have sat down and discussed the situation a little more before deciding on whether or not I wanted to end the friendship.

So, This particular person is out of town at the moment, so when she gets back, hopefully we will be able to get together and maybe get a bite to eat and discuss our differences and maybe the friendship can be salvaged. So, when that happens, I'll definitely give you an update on what happens.

~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~

While on the wonderful world of the internet, I came across the profile of a friend that I had quite a few years ago. Well this is someone, that I've pretty much known through Elementary, Middle, and High school. It's strange, through the years, we've gone through periods of times where we did not talk for one reason or the other, but for whatever reason, we always found a way back to the friendship, and once again we've found ourselves down the same road. (the way it sounds you'd think I was talking about a lover or something LOL)

Hopefully this time, we will be able to withstand whatever comes in our way to maintain the friendship. She's always been someone that I've always looked up to in a lot of ways. She was never the type of person that "tried" to be in the "IN" crowd I guess is what you call it, I don't know, LOL. But she was always the person, that accepted people for who they really were. I remember an incident like it was yesterday, I don't remember how old we were, but we were kids and I remember her neighbor, Jeremiah was the kid that people picked on, and I don't remember exactly what happened if some kids were walking by and picking on him or whatever, but the one thing that I do remember was her sticking up for him. And me being the shy, unpopular girl, was just amazed at how she didn't care about what other people thought. It's amazing how something so insignificant in one person's life, can have such an impact on another's. Well enough with the flash backs! I guess what I'm trying to say is hopefully the friendship will grow to what it once was....Only time will tell.

The End of a Friendship

How people can think that they are better than someone because of skin color, is something that I can and will never understand. I think it is sad that in this day and age, people are still very closed minded in seeing people for who they are and not their skin color.

Because of this issue, I had to stop talking to someone that I thought would be a very good friend. And I think that is very sad, because we did have a lot in common, but it's just something that I couldn't over look.

At first I tried to justify her thoughts, beliefs or whatever you want to call it, by saying, " well she's not very diverse in her surroundings", or "she hasn't been exposed to [black] people very much," but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was bullshit. This is the year 2005. She is the way she because that is how she wants to be.

As I stated to her, I just hope that one day, she realizes that she is not better than any person in any way, but that her closed mindedness makes her look very ignorant.

On one hand I'm very sad to see the friendship end, but on the other, I'm glad that I separated myself from her, because it's not something that I want any myself or my daughter to be exposed to.

The Christmas Tree

This year I'm just really not feeling the Christmas spirit. A lot of it has to do with Steven being gone, it's just not the same with him not here; and the rest, is pretty much because my family and I aren't really getting along, but that's nothing new. So this year, instead of buying a Big Christmas tree and going all out, I just went with a small 4 Ft. tree, just for MariElena. If it wasn't for her, I don't think that I would have even done that at all, but I couldn't just not do anything for her sake. Well, we put it up tonight and she just had the best time. She was so excited about putting all the ornaments on it, it was so cute. I remember those days of excitement when I was younger. Too bad we don't keep that innocence when we get older.
Here are some Pictures of MariElena Decorating the Pictures.

Just a few more people to shop for, and I'll be done. To be Honest, I can't wait until it's all over and done with. I just can't get myself to enjoy this time of year knowing that Steven won't be able to enjoy Christmas with his family, or even at all. He had told me that he would be working on Christmas day. It's not the same at all with him not here. I can't wait until he comes back home, things would be so much better for the both of us. I just need to hang in there, and be strong for him, there's nothing else I can do, but that.

Aren't They Beautiful!

This past week, for some odd reason, has just been a rough week at work for me. It seems like every little thing has just been irritating the shit out of me.

I think today was the only day all week, that has been pretty alright, thanks to the beautiful roses that Steven sent to my job. I was so excited when they arrived!

The women I work with would ask me who sent the flowers; when I told them that my husband did from Iraq, they were all like "That is so sweet" and "My husband is here and I don't get flowers" and it's so sad to say but, I loved every minute of it. Having other women envy me, lol. Does that make me a bad person? I think most woman would feel the same, but I'm just bold enough to say it! ha ha ha.

Christmas shopping

Christmas shopping is just not an enjoyable thing for me. Fighting the crowds of people, rummaging through sale racks to find those unbelievable deals, waiting in long lines, all while trying to keep your 3 yr. old entertained is just not appealing to me. However, it is something that we all end up doing at one point or another during the holiday season; and that day was yesterday for me.

Through all that commotion yesterday, I still didn't finish my Christmas shopping, which means that I'm gonna be out in that mad house at least one more time. I Even stood in a line for at least an hour and a half, to let MariElena make her very first Build-a-Bear. There was at least 50 people in that store doing the same. Trying to find every inch of patience that I had, while she picked the perfect colored Bear, heart, and sound; while she had it stuffed and made sure it had the perfect softness to it; while she put "Princess Violet" under the dryer and brushed it, then picked out the perfect outfit, we finally got in the line to pay for it, and what happens? The Credit Card machines go down. Luckily I had for some reason brought my checkbook, which I never do, and we could Finally leave! Through all the kindergarten like atmosphere, meaning children running wild, yelling, crying, I want this I want that, it was all made worth while seeing how Happy MariElena was with her Finished Product. The things that Parents will do to See that bright and Shinning smile on their Child's Face.

MariElena and her Very First Build-a-Bear "Princess Violet"

Very Touching

I thought this was very moving, so I though that I would share this
Until Then <~~~Click Here

If that doesn't work copy and paste this site into you're address bar
http://www.clermontyellow.accountsupport.com/flash/UntilThen.swf

It may take a moment to load and open, please be patient. thanks

Missing My Best Friend, My Lover

Things are doing well I guess. Of Course there is the never ending cycle of work work work. I've really been missing Steven today. I want to be near him so badly. I talked to him for a little bit online yesterday, and it seems like it was so long ago. His internet connection wasn't very good, so we didn't get to talk very long, but I cherish every moment I get to communicate with him.

I miss our conversations. I remember coming home from work, and after getting settled down after our day, and just laying in the bed with the tv on and just talking to each other. I miss that so much. Some days are so much easier than others. There have been times where I've gone into this deep depression and I feel like I can't go on and at those lowest moments, it seems as if he knows or something cause he always manages to sign online or call me. When I hear his voice or get his IMs I feel refreshed, like I could do anything in this world. He doesn't realize how much of an effect he has on me.

Now Don't get me wrong Amanda is an awesome friend, and it's great to have someone to talk to, but it's just not the same. I'm sure that she feels the same way when it comes to her husband.

I know I'm being all sappy right now, I guess this is just one of those "Gibberish" blogs. LOL. I'm just missing my best friend. my lover right now.